This particular blog subject has been ruminating in my mind the longest of all my cult thoughts. it’s also the most unfinished. I considered not writing it yet but I felt like I couldn’t write the rest without this messy bit.
There will be journals/blogs from me in the coming months talking about various aspects of growing up in and eventually leaving a cult. However, today, I really want to share about the feelings that come when you realize it was all underpinned by lies and half truths and that the leaders care nothing for you or your soul. Leaders that were using their position for their own gain and not even remotely following what they conditioned you to believe and blindly follow. I want to talk about that feeling when you are left with the tatters of their doctrine and you have no idea what to do next.